Career paramedic Jessica Vanderhoek has lived both sides of the job: the pride of service and the private cost. After years of high-acuity calls, insomnia, migraines, anger, alcohol misuse, and a brutal relapse, she hit the wall and looked for what actually heals.
Her path led through equine therapy and carefully screened psychedelic work, then a rare return to frontline duty — and ongoing advocacy for safer, smarter support.
In this conversation we cut through the myths. Jessica explains why peer support often fails in practice, how low pay and constant labor fights amplify moral injury, and why PTSD is not only a brain injury but a soul-level wound. She breaks down screening, set and setting, and integration for psychedelics, and shares a clear analogy for real change: stop mowing the “weeds” of symptoms and start pulling roots. We also talk ADHD, ACEs, identity, tattoos as meaning-making, and the quiet benchmark she uses to gauge recovery: more time in the saddle than in the ambulance. If you are a first responder or a family member, this episode is a frank, hopeful look at what helps and what harms — and how to rebuild a life you actually want.