Andrew McLean is a former police officer, author of Beaten Black and Blue, and mental health advocate.
This conversation is not about a single traumatic call. It is about accumulation. The slow, often invisible impact of repeated exposure to trauma, and how that exposure changes the way first responders think, trust, and function over time.
In this episode, Andrew shares the early warning signs of PTSD in policing, the gradual erosion of identity, and the moment his body and mind could no longer keep up with the demands of the job. He speaks candidly about suicidal ideation, the internal experience of reaching that point, and what recovery actually looks like beyond surface-level conversations about resilience.
We also explore the realities of stepping away from a career in policing, the challenges of navigating support systems, and what first responders actually need when they are off work and trying to heal.
This is a conversation about first responder mental health, cumulative trauma, and the real cost of the job.
Topics discussed: PTSD in first responders, police mental health, cumulative trauma, suicidal ideation, moral injury, recovery after policing, trauma exposure, and life after first responder careers.
Guest
Andrew McLean, retired police officer, author, advocate
IG: beaten_black_and_blue_book
beaten_black_and_blue_bookhttps://www.instagram.com/beaten_black_and_blue_book?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Resources Discussed in This Episode
If you or someone you know needs support, help is available.
• 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline (Canada)
Call or text 988
• Boots on the Ground
Peer support for first responders and families
https://bootsontheground.ca
• Wings of Change Peer Support
Support for public safety personnel and families
https://wingsofchange.ca
• I’ve Got Your Back 911
A charity with awesome merch supporting the mental health of first responders across Canada and (among other things) the creators of a new APP connecting first responders and their families to help at the touch of a button
https://ivegotyourback911.com